The Overdoer Procrastinator- Do you OVERDO??
I have many Moms who fit this category. They take on the PTA, and coaching little league, and teachers aid in the classroom, but yet they are working full time, just had a baby, and the in-laws are moving in to help with childcare. Many of these ladies are also perfectionists. Want the cleanness house, best this and best that. You can not sign up for everything. It is impossible to do it all. A perfect example is a movie called “I Don’t Know How She Does It,” starring “Sarah Jessica Parker.”
-Overdoers procrastinators have low self-esteem, which compels them to take on more work than they can handle. Want to be liked by all this work will make them feel competent. But they complain they are working harder and longer hours. They are defined by what they do and not who they are. Giving low priority to their personal or intimate needs and ignore/deny their feelings of disconnect about the way they live.
When I overdo – I tend to feel bad when I have to say NO to someone. For fear of being thought of as “selfish.” In my past job, I always felt singled out because I had no children. My supervisor was always asking me to go in early or to stay late so she could pick up her kids from daycare. After a while, I was covering for anyone that had kids. I finally said NO one day. I feared not being a “team player.” But I just said no. I told my supervisor there was 8 of us. We needed a schedule for this coverage. At first, everyone was upset. But when the tracking of overtime on my time-card over six months, it was a legit issue after that everyone stepped up to the plate to cover, not just me.
I love the statement, “I have to make better use of my time and do what is important instead of trying to do everything.” Once you learn this, it is mind-blowing. NO ONE can do it all. To change the pattern, develop better organization skills and time management, learning these skills can make your life easier. What is the priority? What is demand? Figuring this out can help you more done in your day. What needs to get done? What can wait? I had a job where two colleagues would bring me their work time after time last minute. They demanded I drop everything and complete right then. They had no idea what other priorities were on my plate for that day. I had finally had enough, told them to take their work to my boss, and let her decide the priority of the day. Surprise in about week; these last-minute jobs stopped showing up on my desk. I was no longer in fear of not getting it all done. They were being held accountable. To my surprise, I was able to start leaving on time each day. Their lack of planning was not necessarily my priority.
What is that saying, “Lack of planning on your part does not constitute an emergency.” I printed this saying and framed it. It hung outside my cubicle for about five years.
Again, do the visualization exercise on page 218. It helped me get some perspective on ways I can improve.