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The Worrier Procrastinator

The "what if" catastrophes. Fear of making mistakes. That was me – starting a business. What are you crazy- Karen you starting a business!

They avoid or delay doing things. They feel safe with familiar, predictable,  and dependable routines. They get insecure when they have a new challenge. Worrier procrastinators are so alert to the negative possibilities of an unknown situation and are so blind to the positive ones they tend to FREEZE, instead of moving forward.

They fear decisions, obsess about everything, what if the weather is terrible, the car brakes, if I get too busy, thus they don't act. Because they don't respond, they are missing out on pleasure or self- advancement. They avoid things that are too much work or difficult and label themselves LAZY or low energy. When, in fact,  it is making the decision and dealing with the outcome. FEAR of the unknown is what I call it. I am so convinced the result is going not what I want, I don't act and make the call to get the facts to help me make the decision.

Let's face it; worrying is exhausting. The last several months with the Corvid-19 and all the media, photographs, hearing there is no cure, and constant rhetoric from our politicians has been overwhelming. I had to finally stop watching, listening, looking for only good stories, less doom, and gloom, too much information overload. Constant worry made me a walking zombie, no sleep, unable to eat, and worried about family members on the front line.

Once I stopped worrying, I could move forward and check out unemployment for the first time in my life. I  also applied for some of the SBA programs to help small businesses. I set up a routine to get me up every day, getting dressed and hitting the phones at 9 A.M. Calling my elderly customers and trying to reassure them. I could not move forward until I let go of the UNKNOWN.

As a worried procrastinator, they need constant reassurance. I did. I had to change the "stuck at home" to "safe at home." I needed to know it was going to be okay, but no one knows what is going to happen. But I am still breathing, eating, and laughing. Being scared all time is no life.

What did I learn in this chapter is to stop/avoid dwelling on the "What-if's" wait until you can assess the task. Set no expectations. Suppose you are cleaning the garage, set up (5) 3-hour sessions. If it only takes (3) 3 hour sessions great. If you find it on your 5th session, there is still more to be done and try to put more time aside. Be sure to take pictures of every organizing session, so you can see how much you have done. Are piles going down, are things going out the door as donations or trash. Can you walk in the garage yet? Don't get caught up on how long it took, step back, and realize you did it.    

Another beautiful thing I learned is that not "making a decision" is a decision. Waiting or putting off until you can make the right decision.  Maybe you not interested in clean out the garage for fear of unknown. Like what to do with all the stuff? Toss it, donate it, or keep it? If that seems overwhelming? What happens if your spouse decides to clean the garage without you, how will that make you feel? Worried – will they toss your treasures. Forcing you to ask, why do we have to do it now. I am not ready to make decisions. Can it wait, ask yourself why you don't want to get started? What are your stumbling blocks?

Remember,  you are the worrier. Your spouse may not worry about anything and just want to clean out the garage before they have to go back to work, or it too humid out, or before your construction starts, or they maybe they just hate the mess.

Dr. Linda talks about Dr. Seuss, ' "Oh, the Places You'll Go." It wonderfully describes and depicts the problems worrier procrastinators confront, as well as the spirit, is necessary to overcome those problems: and the rhyming language an easy-and delightful-to recall. She is so right!
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I hope you are learning about yourself. I am.

Dream Procrastinator wants life to be hassle-free and recoil from anything that may be difficult. They want to coast through life.  

Wouldn't that be wonderful to coast through life! As an early widow, I did not want to do the tough stuff either. Asking questions made me feel stupid. I have learned to ask the questions because one person can not know it all. When I figured out getting out of my comfort zone and had to learn a new "thing," it was good for me. It made me appreciate what I did know. 

When I was thinking about starting a business, I thought I was crazy. There was so much to it. Would I eat, pay my bills, get health insurance and, such. Honestly, it made me stronger. And I started asking questions about things I did not know. I asked myself what the worse thing that could happen if I started this business and was not successful could, or would I be able to close it and get a "job was". My answer was "yes " I had skills I could go back to Corporate American if need be. But the best thing I have learned to surround myself with folks who can answer my questions.  Some days I still dislike technology, and all financial tasks can be terrifying plus dealing with all the paperwork of a small business. But I am doing it. 

What did I learn to do as a dreamer procrastinator in this book? What were my stumbling blocks in getting started? What would be the consequences? How did I learn to overcome them? I sometimes have a fear of the unknown. I let a problematic thing or project become a GIANT Monster.

I dreamt of the outcome and panicked and convinced myself I couldn't do it. I have learned just to try it. My first hoarding family, I was scared by the task ahead of me. I had put the scary beast aside. And take one job one session at a time. Honestly, it was easy once I just stop dreaming of the perfect outcome. I realized some organizing sessions would not leave the homes complete. These homes would take several visits to make them clutter-free. It would take time, but so worth it. 
 
As you read this chapter, pay attention to your stumbling blocks, your scary monsters blocking your progress. Stop dreaming of an ideal job/project. Is it too easy? No challenges? Do you have any "out your comfort zone" projects? What can you learn from this project?

So much valuable information in this chapter if you are a dreamer.

​WEEK TWO-The Perfectionist.

​The Perfectionist.

Boy, did I struggle with this one! Always wanted everything to be done correctly, from gift wrapping to greeting cards, to note-taking in college to perfect dressers draws and linen closets. I had done it all my life; when  I saw how much time I wasted making it perfect. Guess what -- it was never going to be perfect".  Life is busy, getting the laundry away in the goal now.

This chapter is a must-read, pay attention to all the detail. Funny, one of the scenarios in books is about a girl named Karen. I think some of her stories are scary because of how similar they are to mine. One big thing that stood out for me is she now "Strides for Excellence" rather than perfection. Mistakes will happen. I have learned to forgive myself. Did I do the best job I could do? Yes, I did. Did the project come out how I picture it – maybe? Maybe some of my ideas of perfectionism were unrealistic? Now the goal for me has changed "getting it done" whatever it is -is more important. I don't try for perfection anymore; I just want it off my to-do list. 

As a small business owner, perfect is unrealistic. Being kind to myself is more important. Cleaning and organizing 24 hours- 7 days a week - is an impossible task. And I live alone! For all folks reading this blog, you have spouses, kids, pets, pressure jobs, health issues, whatever we are all busy. Be kind to yourself and do what you can.  Learn to RELAX. I never relaxed or put my feet up. I would say in the last three years - I have learned to do that. Take a nap if I need too. Be silly, be grateful, enjoy life, and stop worrying all the time. 

What are you grateful for, food in your belly, a job that pays the bills, your health, your family? Perfect does not exist. I hope this helps. Have a great week.