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The Worrier Procrastinator

The "what if" catastrophes. Fear of making mistakes. That was me – starting a business. What are you crazy- Karen you starting a business!

They avoid or delay doing things. They feel safe with familiar, predictable,  and dependable routines. They get insecure when they have a new challenge. Worrier procrastinators are so alert to the negative possibilities of an unknown situation and are so blind to the positive ones they tend to FREEZE, instead of moving forward.

They fear decisions, obsess about everything, what if the weather is terrible, the car brakes, if I get too busy, thus they don't act. Because they don't respond, they are missing out on pleasure or self- advancement. They avoid things that are too much work or difficult and label themselves LAZY or low energy. When, in fact,  it is making the decision and dealing with the outcome. FEAR of the unknown is what I call it. I am so convinced the result is going not what I want, I don't act and make the call to get the facts to help me make the decision.

Let's face it; worrying is exhausting. The last several months with the Corvid-19 and all the media, photographs, hearing there is no cure, and constant rhetoric from our politicians has been overwhelming. I had to finally stop watching, listening, looking for only good stories, less doom, and gloom, too much information overload. Constant worry made me a walking zombie, no sleep, unable to eat, and worried about family members on the front line.

Once I stopped worrying, I could move forward and check out unemployment for the first time in my life. I  also applied for some of the SBA programs to help small businesses. I set up a routine to get me up every day, getting dressed and hitting the phones at 9 A.M. Calling my elderly customers and trying to reassure them. I could not move forward until I let go of the UNKNOWN.

As a worried procrastinator, they need constant reassurance. I did. I had to change the "stuck at home" to "safe at home." I needed to know it was going to be okay, but no one knows what is going to happen. But I am still breathing, eating, and laughing. Being scared all time is no life.

What did I learn in this chapter is to stop/avoid dwelling on the "What-if's" wait until you can assess the task. Set no expectations. Suppose you are cleaning the garage, set up (5) 3-hour sessions. If it only takes (3) 3 hour sessions great. If you find it on your 5th session, there is still more to be done and try to put more time aside. Be sure to take pictures of every organizing session, so you can see how much you have done. Are piles going down, are things going out the door as donations or trash. Can you walk in the garage yet? Don't get caught up on how long it took, step back, and realize you did it.    

Another beautiful thing I learned is that not "making a decision" is a decision. Waiting or putting off until you can make the right decision.  Maybe you not interested in clean out the garage for fear of unknown. Like what to do with all the stuff? Toss it, donate it, or keep it? If that seems overwhelming? What happens if your spouse decides to clean the garage without you, how will that make you feel? Worried – will they toss your treasures. Forcing you to ask, why do we have to do it now. I am not ready to make decisions. Can it wait, ask yourself why you don't want to get started? What are your stumbling blocks?

Remember,  you are the worrier. Your spouse may not worry about anything and just want to clean out the garage before they have to go back to work, or it too humid out, or before your construction starts, or they maybe they just hate the mess.

Dr. Linda talks about Dr. Seuss, ' "Oh, the Places You'll Go." It wonderfully describes and depicts the problems worrier procrastinators confront, as well as the spirit, is necessary to overcome those problems: and the rhyming language an easy-and delightful-to recall. She is so right!
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I hope you are learning about yourself. I am.

Dream Procrastinator wants life to be hassle-free and recoil from anything that may be difficult. They want to coast through life.  

Wouldn't that be wonderful to coast through life! As an early widow, I did not want to do the tough stuff either. Asking questions made me feel stupid. I have learned to ask the questions because one person can not know it all. When I figured out getting out of my comfort zone and had to learn a new "thing," it was good for me. It made me appreciate what I did know. 

When I was thinking about starting a business, I thought I was crazy. There was so much to it. Would I eat, pay my bills, get health insurance and, such. Honestly, it made me stronger. And I started asking questions about things I did not know. I asked myself what the worse thing that could happen if I started this business and was not successful could, or would I be able to close it and get a "job was". My answer was "yes " I had skills I could go back to Corporate American if need be. But the best thing I have learned to surround myself with folks who can answer my questions.  Some days I still dislike technology, and all financial tasks can be terrifying plus dealing with all the paperwork of a small business. But I am doing it. 

What did I learn to do as a dreamer procrastinator in this book? What were my stumbling blocks in getting started? What would be the consequences? How did I learn to overcome them? I sometimes have a fear of the unknown. I let a problematic thing or project become a GIANT Monster.

I dreamt of the outcome and panicked and convinced myself I couldn't do it. I have learned just to try it. My first hoarding family, I was scared by the task ahead of me. I had put the scary beast aside. And take one job one session at a time. Honestly, it was easy once I just stop dreaming of the perfect outcome. I realized some organizing sessions would not leave the homes complete. These homes would take several visits to make them clutter-free. It would take time, but so worth it. 
 
As you read this chapter, pay attention to your stumbling blocks, your scary monsters blocking your progress. Stop dreaming of an ideal job/project. Is it too easy? No challenges? Do you have any "out your comfort zone" projects? What can you learn from this project?

So much valuable information in this chapter if you are a dreamer.

​WEEK TWO-The Perfectionist.

​The Perfectionist.

Boy, did I struggle with this one! Always wanted everything to be done correctly, from gift wrapping to greeting cards, to note-taking in college to perfect dressers draws and linen closets. I had done it all my life; when  I saw how much time I wasted making it perfect. Guess what -- it was never going to be perfect".  Life is busy, getting the laundry away in the goal now.

This chapter is a must-read, pay attention to all the detail. Funny, one of the scenarios in books is about a girl named Karen. I think some of her stories are scary because of how similar they are to mine. One big thing that stood out for me is she now "Strides for Excellence" rather than perfection. Mistakes will happen. I have learned to forgive myself. Did I do the best job I could do? Yes, I did. Did the project come out how I picture it – maybe? Maybe some of my ideas of perfectionism were unrealistic? Now the goal for me has changed "getting it done" whatever it is -is more important. I don't try for perfection anymore; I just want it off my to-do list. 

As a small business owner, perfect is unrealistic. Being kind to myself is more important. Cleaning and organizing 24 hours- 7 days a week - is an impossible task. And I live alone! For all folks reading this blog, you have spouses, kids, pets, pressure jobs, health issues, whatever we are all busy. Be kind to yourself and do what you can.  Learn to RELAX. I never relaxed or put my feet up. I would say in the last three years - I have learned to do that. Take a nap if I need too. Be silly, be grateful, enjoy life, and stop worrying all the time. 

What are you grateful for, food in your belly, a job that pays the bills, your health, your family? Perfect does not exist. I hope this helps. Have a great week. 

Book Review

"It's About Time, the 6 Styles of Procrastination and How to Overcome Them. 
By Dr. Linda Sapadin with Jack Maguire.
 
Many of us are home in this pandemic. Everyone seems to be reading. I am reading a great book called "It's About Time." For those of you who struggle with projects, time management, organizing, this is a MUST read. However, if you are like me reading a book is difficult. My mind wanders and such, it set my egg timer for (1) hour to read a "learning" book. Read a little each day. Before your day starts or end of your day.
 
You can still purchase the book I did find copies still available.  One of the best parts of the book is the quiz on page 5 which helps determine what type of procrastinator you are. There is another quiz on pages 25/26. Why is this good? Because you can read the chapter that applies to you. However, I determined I am a little of all:
 
Perfectionist
Dreamer
Worrier
Definer
Crisis Maker
Overdoer
 
As a professional organizer, I do admit I was a bit of a perfectionist. Many of these styles of procrastination have been part of my life too.

Over the next couple of weeks, I will share some of the traits of each procrastinator and some ways to overcome these traits. I suggest reading the book. But maybe this way to get you started.

Order the book NOW, to give yourself some help. This book was a great find for my organizing library. Thank you, Dr. Linda Sapadin and Jack Maguire. So glad I found your book!

Stay tuned for next 8 weeks each of the Procrastinators. Thanks for reading. 



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Many of my clients are still not comfortable with me coming to their homes. I get that. Quite honestly I am not sure if I am comfortable either. I plan on following the MA Safety Standards and Guidelines that were provided at Gov. Baker's press conference on May 18th. I will always wear a clean/fresh mask. I plan to wash my hands often. I will not be bringing my tool bag into homes so I don't contaminate clients homes. I will carry my cellphone, my Epi-Pen, small bottle of hand sanitizer and some tissues.  Where appropriate I will practice social distancing by working 6 feet away from you. I can work outside, or in an another area of house. 

Ask yourself what needs to be done? Can it wait? Have you misplace something? Are you moving? Can I take the "job home with me, do it at my home and bring it back?" Let's discuss your project. Can I coach you over phone/or via zoom. Maybe you can do it yourself with my help. Most disorganized folks that I work with biggest road block is TIME. They don't have them time to organize. Well if you are home and not working --it may be perfect time to organize.

Maybe you are working from home and are having trouble with all papers, emails, files and chaos. Especially if you are homeschooling your kids at the same time. Can help you set up quick filing system to help you through. With the onslaught of school work and your work.

Maybe your an Respiratory Therapist or Nurse or EMT. Your routine and work schedules are exhausting to say the least. You find yourself so exhausted and just trying to keep up with eating/sleeping and the laundry. And then getting up the next day to do all over again. I may be able to help here too. Let me see if I can help coach with time management skills doing first things first.

If you think I can help during this time. Contact me [email protected] or 781-275-8915. 

Is being disorganized, inherent? I am not sure. I see parents struggling all the time to keep up and stay organized. Heck even I have days when I struggle.  We are all being pulled in a hundred different directions. College students have just left for the first time “alone”. Have you prepared them or have you been a parent that does everything for them: the cooking, the cleaning, the time management, the taxi driver and all the other endless tasks? For many, they will struggle academically. For others, life’s tasks, for example, getting to class on time, managing all the homework and exams, doing laundry and keeping their shared room clean and organized, will be a struggle. My first roommate was a SLOB. Never hung things up, her dishes would pile up and the trash would be overflowing. I never got the memo I was the maid. It was gross and at first, I started cleaning up for her because it was embarrassing. But her mother had done everything for her. Don’t get me wrong, I did not know how to cook (we had no dining hall, we were to cook for ourselves) but I was lucky I had girl in my dorm who help me learn how to use electric oven vs. gas oven. I was the youngest of 5 in an Irish household and my mother did all the cooking so that was something new for me.

For the moms and dads who do it all STOP. It’s so important to teach your children now. The younger the better. Now for folks reading this saying I am an adult and I have no idea how to organize or clean. I am simply amazed how many grown adults that don’t know how to do either. I had a lady tell me she was locked in her room as a child for long periods of time (without the use of bathroom or kitchen) until she cleaned up her room. She told me she was locked in her room for almost a week because she did not know how to do cleaning. How she did not starve to death or have a bladder infection I will never know.  For her cleaning/organizing was a punishment. Organizing with her was a challenge. Her idea of clean was to put the stuff in trash bags and throw it out. Very sad and very scary.

I always tell people start slow. Work with your kids and help them to pick up there toys each night and put them away. Make their beds in the morning with them. On weekends change the beds, have them help. Have them begin to help do the laundry as young as they can. I think I was twelve. I was the folder at first, and the “carrier” up the stairs for Mom. Cooking was another story with my mom, who was a single mom. She got things ready in the refrigerator with instructions on what to put what in first, second and third. That way when she got home dinner was already going. My four older sisters and I all took turns cooking while doing homework. In this day and age everyone is out doing soccer or cheer leading, no one seems to be home doing homework. I have no idea how folks get dinner on the table.

If your home is cluttered, take a deep breath, tackle one room at time, and one project at time. Work with your kids and learn together. Like the term paper that you tried to do in one night, cleaning/organizing can’t be done in one session. Break up the tasks into doable steps. If you are working with your kids, set some ground rules. NO ONE CAN JUST TOSS THINGS, it has to be a decision done together. Everyone gets a say. Look for easy things like broken items you keep saying your going to fix, things you don’t wear anymore, toys no longer played with, hobbies that never lasted, books you did not like or have not read. Once these items are eliminated, you are freer to work on harder items. The things you love, use, and want to keep.

Tackle one thing at a time say the “DRESSER”. First pull out everything then look at everything. See what fits, what looks good, what do you love, what is tattered, spotted or missing buttons, what did you never like or was too itchy. Make a pile to donate, fold the things you want to keep, and vacuum the drawers. Put like things together, shirts, pants, underwear, scarves, whatever. Dust off the top, toss all the junk on the top too. Make a COIN JAR. Collect all the loose change. You may be surprised how much cash you have laying around. Vacuum again around it. And it is done.  Look at what you have done, together.

Reward yourself with an intangible item. Go to movies, go to the driving range, see that play, go for a hike. NO NEW STUFF. Remember, you are trying to clean things out.

Keep the organizing/cleaning going until each room in the house is better. Rome was not built in a day, organizing your house also takes time. Some weeks you will be able to do a task and other weeks there is too much going on. Cut yourself some slack. You can’t organize 24/7. Believe me I have tried.
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Teach your children (and yourself now) how to clean and organize. I promise it will be the best lesson ever taught.
Good luck COLLEGE FRESHMEN!!